Cheryl Miller Dellasega

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Published by: Atria
Release Date: August 5, 2003
Pages: 257
ISBN13: 978-0743249874

 
OVERVIEW

The only book with a program that is proven to solve the problem of female bullying, a controversial issue first exposed in the bestselling Reviving Ophelia.

Stop the Hurting

Mary Pipher's bestselling Reviving Ophelia triggered widespread interest in the culture of preteen and teenage girls and the seeming epidemic of relational aggression (bullying) among them. Gossip, teasing, forming cliques, and other cruel behaviors are the basis of this bullying, which harms both victim and aggressor. Until now, no one has been able to offer practical and effective solutions that stop girls from hurting each other with words and actions. But in Girl Wars, two experts explain not only how to prevent such behavior but also how to intervene should it happen, as well as overcome the culture that breeds it.

Illustrated by compelling true stories from mothers and girls, the authors offer effective, easy-to-implement strategies that range from preventive to prescriptive, such as how to

-Adopt a "help, don't hurt" strategy

-Provide positive role models

-Teach communication skills online and off

-Stress assertiveness, not aggressiveness

-Learn conflict resolution skills

-Identify alternatives to bullying behavior

With their combined experience in offering and evaluating programs that combat bullying, the authors show that girls not only want to help rather than hurt each other, they can do so with guidance from concerned adults.

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PRAISE

“As the dad of a teen girl who has gone through a lot of bullying I was nodding my head at the stories. Then I got to the chapter on Dads and Daughters and thought "At last!" This is the first concrete advice I've found on how to help my daughter. It's great to recognize that fathers play an important role too. One of my daughter's teachers read this, and is going to start a program at her school to stop relational aggression, so even more girls will benefit.”
—Da Joed, Amazon Review

“This is the first book ever I read about bullying as it relates to relationship amongst females. It is important to mention that this book is focusing on teenage girls and bullying that occurs in middle schools. Book is combination of testimonials from young girls, their mothers, teachers and even fathers. Authors are emphasizing on various reasons for bullying such as jealousy, gossip, cliques and popularity contests.

It is painful to realize that both initiators of bullying and their victims are deeply wounded people. The lack of self-confidence and self-esteem in perpetrators is being transferred to their victims who sometimes withdraw from educational system or become permanently emotionally damaged if not provided with adequate professional help.

Some of the examples presented in the book apply to modern day workplace as well. It is valuable book for women of all generations to read, but also it is valuable handbook for fathers with daughters who are actively looking ot ease their daughter's transition into adolescence.

What I have learnt from this book is that the politically correct name for bullying is "relational aggression" (RA). No matter how it is called it is form of harassment and it is often overlooked compared to sexual harassment or racial/social harassment. No matter how called it is unacceptable in society, school system and workplace.”
—Eugenia, Amazon Review

“This is a must read for anyone who has a young lady. The idea that we don't have to settle for the usual attitude of "that's just the way girls are," is a message that I feel is extremely important. This is a very good book, complete with a step-by-step solution to handle Relational Aggression.”
—Lorraine, Goodreads Review